Untuk diriku yang telah tua,
Kamu tidak perlu kaget ketika membaca surat konyol ini. Bukankah kekonyolan adalah sebuah bagian dari kesempurnaan?
Berapa umurmu sekarang? 50? 60? Memilih keriput alami atau pakai botox dan injeksi vitamin? Apa pun yang kamu pilih, aku sudah tidak bisa ikut campur. Aku tidak tahu mengapa harus mencerewetimu jika ternyata di usiamu sekarang masih sebugar saat aku menulis surat ini. Kurasa, aku hanya ingin bertanya banyak hal yang hanya kamu bisa menjawabnya. Kamu masih bisa berbahasa Inggris kan? Ada hal-hal yang kamu pasti tahu, akan lebih mudah kuungkapkan dalam bahasa itu. Remember about the secret code in a language?
Are you married? Why did you get marry? What changed you mind? Maksudku, itu bukan sesuatu yang kukejar di usiaku sekarang. Do you still talking with unknown inside your head? Aku menyebutnya unknown karena itu bukan aku dan aku tidak pernah menanyakan namanya. Dia tidak pernah bicara jika aku tidak minta. Tapi dia bisa membaca pikiranku, memberiku pertimbangan-pertimbangan sebelum aku melakukan sesuatu. That what makes I never could be the real me. That’s why I asked: are you married? Oh come on, stop denying. Denying will not bring you anywhere. It just make you more suffer. Stop it!
You are old now. Do you still have a good health? Have you ever once watched Tour de France, living in caravan for couple weeks? That I would really wanted to do in a summer, in French, as a free person. Do you remember?
Are you rich now or in a low pathetic stage? Do you have a house, a car? Which city do you live at? Or you live at a peaceful hill? Are you still writing? What about your anger? Is it still be your problem? What about my sisters? They are good? Do you still believe in God? Still pray to God to stop the rain because you wanna go somewhere? You know what, I believe that never been coincidences. It happened more that once. But, people will not believe my story, so I never told them.
Have you ever been in prison? For what cause? Silly cause or not? Have you been traveled around the world? Do you have tattoo? What kind of tattoo? What is the color of your hair? Are you gray headed now? All of it? Or do you prefer to change the color?
Did you ever miss the young version of you and wish that you have a time machine so you could fix anything before it’s getting worse in the future? Or you just regret all of it so you wouldn’t look back? What song do you like now? Why do you like the song? Can you sing the whole lyric? I’d never give a damn about any lyric of the songs, why should I? But, that’s gonna happen wether the song is mine. I wrote that. Did I write a song lyric? Was it good? Was it easy to do?
How’s the weather? Do you still make contact with a old friend? Whom you still make a contact with? You both keep telling secrets each other? Close enough? Male or female?
I do actually have more questions to ask, but I do not want to freak you out. I am young, I am curious. But if you think that possible to reply this letter, just do that directly. I would like to know little me in the future. I’ll be waiting. Don’t you ever dare to come into my dreams.
Me is you